My next-door neighbor of 20 years died in a terrible car accident a month ago. He was 39 years old. His house is only two houses from mine. I never met him. I don’t know who he was. That gave me a lot to think about.
I am kind of embarrassed to share this. I think we should all revisit our relationships to find out if they are phony or authentic. I suspect that we are getting way too many fake and phony friends that don’t add any value to our lives.
I have thousands of friends on Facebook and Twitter. I’m sure you do as well. We call them friends. Right? Isn’t it embarrassing to have thousands of friends on Facebook and you don’t know your neighbor who is two houses from you?
I don’t know about you. As for me, that’s very embarrassing. Years ago, the people living in the neighborhoods were one family. They knew each other. They were there for each other. To this day, I still hear people talking about how their neighbor practically raised them.
What changed all of that? I suspect the Facebook, Twitter and all the other social media stuff changed that. We find it easier to hide behind a computer screen and make friends with people we never meet.
Think about it this way: If your house started burning down, do you think there’s a better chance your neighbor will show up to help you instead of a friend on Facebook that you’ve never met? You bet!
In fact, the majority of your friends in cyberspace don’t care. They are funny and fake friends. As a matter of fact, there are websites where you can go and buy 20,000 of them instantly.
For the most part, those superficial and artificial relationships don’t add any value to either party. They are just distractions. They keep you away from focusing on things that matter to your life and business.
Yes, you are learning more because of Social Media. But, you also have less time to apply what you are learning. You are taking less action. You lose your focus.
I remember when I could lock myself in a room for two months and write a book. Today, I can barely write one chapter in two months. Way too many distractions are beckoning for my attention.
The reality is, 95% of my so-called friends on the Social Media are there to sell me their stuff. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just don’t consider me as your friend when you keep pestering me to buy your stuff. Just call me your prospect instead of a friend.
By the way, keep in mind, in business there should be an exchange of value. Don’t expect me to buy from unless you first give me some value. If I’m not mistaken, Social Media was created for sharing. Share with ME!
I Need Your Advice
Here is what I’m thinking. I want to close all my social media accounts. I don’t want all that phony stuff anymore. What do you think? Help me out. Should I close them? Do have some advice for me? Comment below.
Leave them open! It allows you to be able to engage with people on a daily basis. It’s how we communicate in the 21st century, plus – it allows for you to be able to create authentic connections with people you would have never met without social media.
Authentic connections? Hummm! Maybe I’m missing something here. Yes, I agree. Whether we want it or not, this is the new way to communicate in the 21st century. I remember seeing two teenagers chatting with each other on Facebook while they are in the same room.
Hi Rene your work and your advise mean lots to me. I like to encourage you , too many people go over dose, too high – tech , but not high – touch. Anyway keep me in mine. Remember we talk before about found some sponsor to help my ministry.
My contact Number is 321 5257277
social media is a good way to see what others, who like to post, are up to but I prefer to speak to friends in person too.
Yeah! That’s what I think Gwen! Nothing beats real in-person conversations. Much better than chatting with so many strangers. I’m telling you… I believe we are going way too high-tech and not enough high-touch.
I love social media because my children live in three different states and it helps me feel like I’m still a part of their everyday lives. Having said that, it can be very time consuming and non-productive. I’ve been considering using it to keep in touch but limiting the time I spend on it and absolutely not participating in political debate. Maybe we don’t have to be without social media, just use it wisely.
Okay Judy, I can see the value here for you. Thanks for sharing. Maybe I should ask about how other people are using social media in a meaningful way.
Just close them all you’re 100% right they’re fake & phony friends. I’ll do the same in the next 24 hrs.
Right on Mimi! I’m really thinking about getting rid of all of them. My assistant is begging me not to do so. I’m meeting with my mentor and marketing adviser about this as well.
Rene, I agree that the social media relationships are merely a distraction and they do not add any value to your life. Eliminating the ‘value-less’ ones will leave you time to focus on more important matters.
As Vernon pointed out, we need to focus on IPA (Income Producing Activities). He has a good point about using it to keep in touch with clients. Thanks for joining the conversation Yolene.
Rene, YES!! Social media has its place however you have to schedule time and not interrupt your IPA – Income Producing Activities to search facebook. I know several millionaires that have deleted their facebook as it is a distraction. I personally use it only to keep in touch with certain people and clients. I am very selective of what I post and what I take the time to read. I joined your list because I was inspired by your story. You have a story and right by your birthright to change lives.
Keep on keeping on!! You are changing lives. You are a true Champion!!
Right on Vernon! As I travel the country to keynote conferences, I meet some very highly successful people. They rarely mention anything about Facebook. Thanks for letting me know my story inspires you. You are a champion as well! Merci!
I have a social media account, but don’t really use it very often. Seems that too many people share every aspect of their life out there. I don’t really care when someone is eating somewhere, or going to the movies, or doing this or that…. menial stuff. I just don’t have the time to logon and sort through the noise of social media, but I do take the time to read emails. That works better for me. Targeted communication with a purpose.
You are right Tom. It takes way less time to quickly read an email and move on instead of having to go through thousands of nonsense updates. Yes, who cares someone is drinking coffee at Starbucks? Ridiculous!
RENE:
I AM THE ONE TO BLAME. MANY PEOPLE WANT POSITIVE CHANGES BUT FAIL TO COMMIT TO THE ACTIONS TO LEAD TO RESULTS. I AM GUILTY OF THIS. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I HAVE SHARED YOUR NAME WITH ED SLOTT GROUP AS A GUEST SPEAKER. I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU AFTER OUR WORKSHOP LAST MAY IN PHEONIX, AZ. PLEASE STAY IN TOUCH AND I STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOU ALSO.
MICHAEL
Well put Michael. Without right action there’s no change. Most people complain about their situation. Yet, they keep doing the same things they have been doing. If I remember correctly, that’s called insanity. The formula is simple. If you don’t like the results you are getting, change the actions you are taking.
Hi Heather,
I do remember you! Wow! We go way back. Glad you are following your bliss. Welcome to the world of speaking! It’s great Facebook is working for you. Thanks for sharing.
Give it a second thought. I personally feel enlightened when I read your posts and remember your struggle you did in your life and faced the excruciating pain. A man of your caliber cannot be cowed down by petty issues, social media has helped people like us to get enrich with your sincere suggestions
Got it Manoj. Thanks for your feedback. Keep pressing on!
Rene, social media is only as good as the demand for that media. For instance, I follow Mitt Romney’s media because I have an interest in Romney. Once the election is over, I won’t follow him anymore on fb. I have several millionaire friends who post continuously on social media but I do not follow them. Why should I spend time admiring or following someone else’s dreams (your media) when I can spend that time building my own? With that thought in mind, you’re getting the attention of the followers and not the real doers with social media. The doers will see you at conferences, seminars, etc. Be the change you want to see in the world by action and not by media.
Amen Sal! I don’t have anything to add to what you said. Right on the money! Spend time working on your dream instead of keeping up with what someone is having for breakfast.
Do not give up Rene
Hi Rene,
I must admit am shocked to read a post like this by you. However, I still know that no matter how successful or positive minded we are, we still aren’t free from being constantly bombarded with negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurity- it’s like a lifetime struggle.
Personally, I do think the social media relationship is diametrically different from any other relationships one may have with one’s best friends, family, or neighbors. As a motivational speaker, one should use the social media as a vehicle to disseminate positive messages and do businesses worldwide. With the social media, people all around the world can know you have a new product for sale, they can know where to get the product, and they can find out about your seminars or events. My joy is to constantly see you deliver motivational messages to the public like you’ve always been doing, and if you’ll keep motivating people, making them feel good and better, I see no reason why anyone would want to unsubscribe from your list. The social media should be used to reinforce or strengthen your business by creating the opportunity for you to reach and influence more people; otherwise, it’s not necessary.
Thanks Giles. You are right. However, make sure you give value first before you ask them to buy. Let’s find ways to deliver content that actually matters to the people in our circles. As long as we help them improve their condition, we can present our products to them. Some people have no respect for their so-called friends in the social media. They are just out there to shove your stuff in one’s throat. That’s a big turn off. By the way, keep making a difference. Keep pressing on!
rene,
i enjoyed your new communication. it is right on. i too use social media to keep in touch with family and friends that are long distances away. but you can’t let it take over your life. please keep the newsletters coming , i so enjoy them. but i too was overwhelmed by too many emails and just gave many of them the gas to focus on the better ones. like yours. please keep up the good work. your whole story is very inspiring.
Thanks Rick. I appreciate your comment. I will keep the newsletter coming.
Love the post…
I only have 1500 members in my system – they pay me a fee – but I have a great relationship with most of them. We meet at conferences, I know their kids names and I’m interested in them I help them and I listen to them… I don’t do social media… I could easily get 20,000 friends… But to what end? To discuss trivia? To tell them what I had for breakfast?
Real live involves real people – real emotions – real love.
Ditch the social media.
Excellent point John. My assistant needs to read this. The key is to have true fans and friends that want to be in your circle because of the excellent value you provide. Thanks for sharing.
Rene, I really liked your post. It’s true and I completely agree to your thought. I would like to talk to people face to face instead of spending hours on the cyberspace.
Hi, Keep your social media life alive!!! but in a very different way!!!
Have your personal profile and add only the friends you know personally to be in touch and make a fan page so that anyone can subscribe for your posts!!!
I think Abhilash has the best solution at this time. It keeps your options open.
Thanks!
REne, your stories has inpiring many of us, I personally enjoy reading your post. Please keep on going do not shut no doors this not you, remember the daily use strategies you sent me.Ok then
Dear Rene Godefroy,
I am so touched by the thing that concerns you, but know this you are not alone when it comes to friends and associates. Every email that you send is not in vain. We live in a microwave world now and no one makes time to know their neighbors. I do not have a face book account and I do not tweet. We have become a society that communicate by sending a text or email and I can’t stand it. Don’t misunderstand me sometimes it’s necessary, but it should not be a lifestyle. I don’t know if this is possible, but I would like to meet you. Enjoy your blessings!
hi rene you are right about too much stuff mails without vaules to people but yours is different please keep sending the mails am always encouaged each time i read your mails.as for those who unscrirb dont take it personal sometimes it just our way of geting out of the guilt afterall is it not easier not to know youhave a great video from rene and for weeks you have not watched it.shalom rex
Dear Rene,
Please note that your words stir up and inspire for profitable change. Please keep it up.
The Bible says “A man who has friends must show himself friendly.” We must be careful to make friends by whatsoever means because we’re required to nuture and maintain them.
As iron sharpens iron, may God help you to touch lives for positive change through His intervention.
God bless!
Hi Rene! your work, thoughts and advise means lot for us. when ever i feel i am going down and little bit nervousness i use to read your newsletter which i got very first time. we really respect you.
donooo goooo any weere .. we neeed uu man………….
When you close eyes to prevent you from seeing bad people, good people will also pass your way unnoticed. The fact that you have some fake friends should not make you to miss the genuine ones
Thank you Joel. I appreciate your feedback. Press on!
Hi Rene,
Do not delect them but be at alert to their request and comments so that will not fall to the fraudsters.On the other way,if you communicaticate and no reply ignore them.
Regards.
Rene,first of all I want you to know that I do read your emails.It is so good to hear from you.As far as the social websites sites are concerned, there are some people on there that have hidden agendas.I would say to you to let your heart and mind lead you in the right direction.I have became less and less active on the social sites as well due to fake and phony people.
It is so true what you said in that post. I was one of the people who were no longer opening your newsletters, I’m sure you already knew that, but the reason was that I had subscribed to so many newsletters to a point that I just deleted stuff to empty my inbox to clear all the clutter. In the while I lost vital contacts like you.
Yes Nelson. Our inboxes can be a BIG distraction. Do you remember years ago when you were so happy because you received an email? Today, it’s ridiculous how many emails are screaming for out attention.
Hi Rene
Please don’t stop sending inspirational messages, I really enjoy reading them.You are my role model & keep up doing good work to people.
Don’t burn bridges in the first place, keep that option open in case you or they have something genuinely sincere to share and help each other out, or start off a relationship from there.
Second, don’t waste time in people who are not worth it either, it does speak for the worth of your own. Don’t do anything out of guilt, boredom or shame, true friends need none; and you should have better things to do than checking on Facebook.
That being said don’t keep away from you people just because they are “from the Internet”. My own boyfriend lives on the other side of the globe and this is the only means we have to share any moment at all. Just evaluate relationships for what they are, exchanging moments, ideas and emotion. If you’re giving and they don’t give back or don’t care, online or not that’s not a “friend”.
And finally. Don’t blame social media when you had all the chances all this time to bother meeting your neighbors. You have your priorities and meeting him wasn’t one of them.
You have no reason to feel bad for it though, and even if it is the case that attitude doesn’t help. Simply value more all the other offline activities and the people around you, and restructure your priorities. Start again and give yourself -and by extension the people around you- another chance. Life goes on.
Good luck.
You are right Zenit. It appears as if I’m blaming Social Media. Thanks for bringing that to my awareness. I also appreciate the tips you shared with you.
Mr godefroy, u right sir, social media is just the waste of time and are the reason why we fail to focus on the positive important things, im so embarassed because im always on facebook and ur email opened my eyes please sir dnt stop sharing words with me
Glad my post gave you something to think about Dineo. I will keep sending more positive stuff to uplift your spirit. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Rene,
I do read your emails! Please do continue to write… it is just that i was not keeping well and then i delivered a baby boy and hence need to look after him 🙂 Sorry for not responding all the time…
As far as online friends are concerned, you have to choose – listen to your heart! I accept friends’ request only of I know them personally!
Take care.
Cheers
Prachi
i must say this even if i reply very late to your email. to me i do put in time to read your emails. please do not stop sending them to me because they do motivate and inspire me. i personally value your work please keep it up….. i promise never to again neglect you mails.